Gratituesday - Living Life

This week has been a terrible one in the UK, the Manchester bombing just goes to show how fragile life is, and just honestly live life to the full - want to travel? go do that, want to start that business? well do it! Honestly take life by the balls and run. 

These colours though.

The cutest shells.

Dreamy set up

Crystal Love

Almost too pretty to eat.

Such a fun ring holder!

Beachy days

 These forever

Cute prints

Ocean dreaming.

Little Things...

Omg you look so good, did you photoshop yourself?! FINALLY sitting outside drinking coffee again Work outs finished by 8am Beans on toast Natural yoghurt Planning make overs Clothes shopping Plans, plans, plans Full diaries Argon oil (OBSESSED ) Gradual tans Soundcloud gods giving out tunesss Bank holidays Wild flower meadows Coffee dates (always) HAPPINESS

Et toi?

There Is No Wrong Way To Feel After A Breakup

I’ve gone through break ups in which I find myself sucking face with someone new twelve hours after I thought my heart would be forever broken. I’ve also had a breakup in which I still find myself crying when I’m reminded of him through things like thunderstorms or when someone brings up the show Downton Abby. There are few incorrect ways to respond to a breakup — although violence in any way shape or form would be one of them.

There is no right amount of time for you to grieve the ending of a romantic connection that you had with someone. Any friend of yours who tells you to “just over it” is an asshole and you should probably stop returning their calls.

When a relationship ends and two people attempt to salvage the lives they had before they became intertwined. After every break up, I will spend weeks meticulously pulling apart my own neurosis from the traits I picked up from being around someone else. Sometimes it’s impossible for me to remember who I was before them. Sometimes it’s obvious to me that I had compromised so much of myself to be their man.

In a breakup, each person wants to appear like they came out of the relationship with the most benefits. They want to know that they’re the one who gained more knowledge, experience, and perspective. More importantly, they want to appear to be the one less damaged by the fallout to those on the outside.

I always hope after a breakup the next time I run into my ex I will look super-mega-foxy-hot with a beautiful man on my arms. I hope I come across as happy, and fulfilled, and did I mention hot? I think this is because I want something to show for the relationship. I want to show how I’ve taken everything I’ve learned and how I’ve improved.

But why is it that we need tangible things to prove that we are better off without someone? We’ll choose to change our hair, our clothes, and our attitudes because we want to invent a new “me” for ourselves.

 

What we fail to realise is that we’re sometimes doing this more for those around us. We want to remind them that we’re doing okay. We want our friends and acquaintances to believe that we’re loving life and laughing more and looking better because without our ex in our life we’re completely reborn. We want to know that we came out of the relationship a better human being. It’s comforting to think that even though we suffered the fights, and the crying, and the crushing separation that we emerged more enlightened.

I sometimes wonder if it’s better to just show other people how you’re truly feeling. After a breakup I don’t feel like showering or working out or eating anything other than junk food.

However, I push myself to the gym, or to get coffee with old friends, and to style my hair a new way in spite of the pain I feel. I do these things because I feel the need to fool others around me into thinking I’m perfectly. At least for a little while, because eventually I will be.

Reasons Why Girls Don't Reply!

When it comes to dating, sometimes girls don't reply or guys for that matter. So when my male friend asked me why this girl didn't reply I asked if he had done any of the following - all of which to my friends and I are immediate 'erm no' 

You said hi. And that’s it.

You’re soliciting me for group sex.

You asked me to marry you.

You said something sexist. 

You told me how gorgeous/beautiful/sexy I am in the first sentence.

You addressed me as Hey Gorgeous/Beautiful/Sexy.

You told me you love [insert body part here].

You asked what I’m wearing right now.

You mentioned that you’ve had a little too much to drink tonight.

You told me I must be a freaky girl because I’m a (Your hair colour) and ALL (your hair colour) are kinky.

You made a “Call Me Maybe” reference.

You asked if I would be into something “casual.”

You spelled “cool” with a K.

You said you have nothing interesting to say.

You told me not to be intimidated by you.

You used the wrong form of “you’re.”

You saw that I have a cat and asked if you could “pet my pussy.”

You said I’m out of your league.

You’re under the age of 21.

You used a million punctuation marks!!!!!!!!!!!!

You said you were hoping I had a large porn collection.

I’m allowed to be a little shallow and, to be honest, I’m just not physically attracted to you.

What makes you instantly be like no?

50 Questions To Ask Your Crush

Someone I’m friends with told me about a date she was on where the guy asked her what her favourite colour was. She broke it off right then because, as she explained, at her age she had deep life experiences and if he was only interested in superficial crap like colour preferences, they were incompatible. With that in mind, I collected a a cheat sheet of questions that can speak to your potential partner’s substance (or lack thereof). Or, at least give you something to talk about if it turns out you don’t have awesome conversation chemistry.

1. What is one thing you will never do again?

2. Would you rather be twice as smart or twice as happy?

3. What happened the last time you cried?

4. What happened the time in your life when you were the most nervous to do something?

5. What would your parents be surprised to learn about you?

6. What’s your worst habit?

7. What superpower would you have for one day?

8. What fictional character do you have the biggest crush on?

9. Where would you live if you could live anywhere in the world?

10. What is your most bizarre annoyance?

 11. Who knows you the best?

12. What after school activities did you do in high school?

13. What “most likely to” superlative would you be most honoured to receive?

14. What’s the last book you really loved?

15. What was the greatest television show of all time?

16. What’s been your favourite age so far?

17. If you could go back in time, what is one piece of advice you would give your younger self?

18. What one thing would you be most disappointed if you never got to experience it?

19. Apologise or ask permission?

20. Unlimited love or money?

21. If you knew you would die in one week, what would you do?

22. What’s your most listened to song?

23. Beach Holiday or City Holiday?

24. If you could have been a child prodigy what would you have wanted to be skilled at?

25. What’s the first thing you would do if you won the lottery?

26. What celebrity would you trade lives with?

27. If you were a performing artist, what would you title your first album?

28. What story do your friends still give you crap about?

29. If earth could only have one condiment for the rest of time, what would you pick to keep around?

30. What is the ideal number of people to have over on a Friday night?

31. What was the worst age you’ve been so far?

32. What is your weirdest dealbreaker?

33. What fictional character reminds you most of yourself?

34. Do you believe in karma?

35. What was your favourite TV show as a kid?

36. What is the weirdest thing you find attractive in a person?

37. What would be your mastermind speciality?

38. What is something you’re superstitious about?

39. What is the scariest experience you have ever had?


40. Who is a non-politician you wish would run for parliament?

41. What cheesey song do you have memorised?

42. What one dead person would you most like to have dinner with, if it were possible?

43. Do you think it’s important to stay up to date with the news?

44. What is the best present you’ve ever received?

45. Would you give up one of your fingers if it meant you’d have free wifi wherever you go, for the rest of your life?

46. What’s the first thing you’d do if you were the opposite sex for one day?

47. If someone told you you could give one person a present and your budget was unlimited–what present would you get and for whom?

48. What is the nicest thing someone could say about you?

49. Giant house in a housing estate or tiny house somewhere with a view?

50. What is the weirdest quirk your family has?

Would you ask any specific questions?!

7 Stages Of A Break Up!

Breaking up is hard to do. Much like the passing away of a loved one, breakups have stages of grief. Here's an outline of the breakup process -- and how to get through it. 

Breaking up isn't as hard to do if you understand that everything that is happening to your heart, your mind and your body is totally normal. That's right: Consuming endless bowls of ice cream one day and being disgusted by the sight of food the next is normal under the circumstances. It is also normal to want to slash your ex's tires and want him back all at the same time.

What isn't normal, though, is to stay stuck in your confused, lonely or sad state. Breakups have stages of grief, as outlined below. These breakup stages may not be in order for you, and there is no telling how long you will stay in each one, but consider progress of any kind positive. Be gentle with yourself during a breakup, and don't stop reminding yourself that, no matter how dark the day, you will get through this.

1. Shock: "What the hell just happened?"

Shock is the body's natural protection against pain. And when your relationship first ends, you just might not want to deal with what's coming next. It may be too scary, too lonely, too confusing. A state of disbelief could last minutes, weeks or even months and likely lasts longer if you are on the receiving end of an unexpected breakup. Don't be surprised if you feel a sense of blurriness about the actual breakup scene, a literal loss of breath, or trouble sleeping.

Do/Do not:

• Do prescribe yourself calming cures like meditation or long walks.
• Do not freak out. You will make sense of all of this!

2. Denial: "This is so not happening."

Denial is rejection of reality and a storage of feelings. The thinking is that, if you don't accept the heartbreak, then it didn't really happen, thus leaving hope for reunion. During this stage of a breakup it is common to call, email or even Facebook-stalk -- anything that feels remotely "normal" about the relationship -- in an effort to put dealing with the heartbreak on hold.

Do/Do not:

• Do open up to a journal or trusted friend to begin unleashing fears, identifying unreasonable thoughts and more.
• Do not minimise the situation. Pretending your breakup doesn't have to be dealt with will lead to emotional numbness and leave you stuck.

3. Isolation: "I just want to sit in this all by myself."

Once you've recognized the breakup, you get into the dirty work: Dealing with the dissolution of the relationship. You may replay the relationship over and over in your mind, trying to pinpoint where it fell apart and how it could have been saved. Your thoughts may feel very scattered and disorganised. This stage of grief has you in withdrawal; you don't even feel like updating your social media status or checking your voicemails. You may draw your blinds and not even want to leave the house. Sitting in silence, darkness or a bucket of ice cream feels better than going outside and admitting to the world that, yes, it's over.

Do/Do not:

• Do take regular showers and create reasons to face the day (work, social activities).
• Do not indulge in self-pity by letting irrational thoughts like "No one will ever love me again" take over.

4. Anger: "I hate you for breaking my heart!"

In this stage, your heart goes from sad to raging mad. It becomes fuelled with anger towards your ex for whatever his part in the breakup was, and/or toward yourself for your part. During this stage of breakup, you may find yourself burning pictures of him, holding his stuff hostage, slandering him to his friends or worse. If you are angry with yourself, you may do a lot of self-talk -- regretful thoughts and angry conversation with yourself. The deeper desire here is often to place blame.

Do/Do not:

• Do feel, write or talk about your anger.
• Do not act on it.

5. Bargaining: "What will it take to get him back?"

Sometimes involving begging, this stage is often about getting your ex back, but other times, it is about absolving your own guilt if you did something wrong that caused the breakup. Desperate to negotiate with yourself or your ex, you may go to extreme measures to make deals or become something else (thinner, less jealous, etc.) to make amends -- when in truth, it is just about making the current pain go away.

Do/Do not:

• Do create a self-love list complete with what makes you happy and things you want for your future.
• Do not include wanting your ex back in the above list!

6. Depression: "I will never get over him."

You realise the magnitude of your loss in this stage of grief, and it can feel all too overwhelming. You may wind up in a state of deep sadness that can even resemble mild depression. At this point, recalling what your life was like prior to your relationship or what it could be like now can be hard. Just getting out of bed feels difficult, and you may even feel physical aches and pains perpetuated by deep feelings of hopelessness, helplessness and sadness.

Do/Do not:

• Do surround yourself with positive people and lots of sunshine.
• Do not fall victim to unhealthy behaviours such as binge eating or drinking.

7. Acceptance: "I understand why I was with him, why I'm not now, and that I will be better than just OK."

The acceptance stage of a breakup makes all the other really tough ones worth it. This is the one that finally gives you that welcome sense of exhalation. You come to realise what the past meant and what the future can hold. The sun begins to shine, and you begin to feel like yourself again, ready to move onward and upward.

Do/Do not:

• Do celebrate getting through your breakup.
• Do not be surprised if you still feel moments of sadness from time to time; it's normal. Just keep on your positive path!

Do you have any breakup tips?

Distract Yourself When Waiting For A Call!

Over the past ten-ish years, I have spent more time than I’d like to admit waiting for some guy I was dating (or wanted to date) to call or text me back. I know I’m not alone. Most women are all too familiar with hoping a guy will call, wondering if he will and worrying that he’s just going to vanish because he wasn’t really interested in the first place. Which is to say, waiting for a guy to call is a special type of hell, right?  One guy I dated used to go weeks in between phone calls or texts, only to seem baffled when I was less than enthused to finally hear from him when he’d magically reappear.

Since you’re way too awesome and hot to stare at your phone all day, here are 20 semi-productive things you can do while waiting for a guy to call.

Send a text message to your best friend or your mum. Someone who would never dare ignore you!

Write down ten things about yourself, inside and out, that you love. Yes, it’s cheesy–but I bet you feel better after.

Take some ridiculous yet oh so HOT selfies.  

Change into workout clothes and think about going for a run, to the gym or just dancing around your house. Bonus points if you actually do it, but no pressure, seriously. It’s the thought that counts!

Do a quick purge of your Facebook friends. Do you really need to know what 1200 people ate for dinner?

 Turn your phone off! It’s not the boss of you.

Pour yourself a drink. Repeat. Cheers!

Go on a date with someone else. Distract yourself with someone else!

Makeout with someone else. Quite the distraction.

Pick the one task on your to-do list that you’ve been putting off the longest, and DO IT. You will feel amazing after, whether your phone is ringing or not.

 One word: Vibrator. Who needs a guy anyway?

Stay busy. Accept every happy hour, blind date or dinner invitation that comes your way and throw yourself into your job.

Go to sleep early. Not because you’re depressed, but because sleep is awesome.

Scroll through his past text messages…and then delete them.  

Banish anxiety. Whether you take a bubble bath, meditate or talk to a friend, try not to freak out. You can’t control if he calls or not, but you can control how you handle it either way.

Get lost in your Netflix queue for a while. New OITNB, anyone?

Find a cute puppy or child to play with. Kids and puppies have a way of reminding us to live in the moment. See also-Adorable!

Treat yourself to your favourite indulgent food. It is virtually impossible to worry about some dude when you have all your favourite foods.

Lightly internet stalk him. Just a little bit and proceed with caution! This one can backfire, but you might find yourself reading the inane or annoying status updates he’s posted or selfies and over emoji use and realise that you’re not really that interested in him, after-all. Of course, you might end up liking him more, but hey, 50/50.

What is your favorite way to distract yourself while waiting to hear from a guy?