The Deal With Diets

High-protein diets. Low-fat diets. All-vegetable diets. No-carb diets. With all the focus on dieting, how do you figure out what's healthy and what isn't?

Lots of people feel pressured to lose weight and try different types of diets. But if you really need to lose weight, improving your eating habits and exercising will help you more than any diet.

 

What is the deal with diets?

The word diet has turn into a bit of dirty word.  It now means what fad you are on, which method you are using to restrict or torture yourself, short term fix or simply messing with your head. I use to be a very slim and went through a phase in my life where I was completely obsessed with food.  I thought about it every second of the day. I would literally dream about my ‘cheat meals’.  It made it incredibly hard to focus on anything else in my life.  It was a pretty crappy spot to be in and negatively changed my relationship with food. 

Women talk about it all the time. What about this diet, my friends lost 20lbs on this, how about shakes… paleo, vegan, juice diets, gluten free, fat free, sugar free?? The list goes on and on.  No wonder people feel confused.  It has completely over complicated food and left people completely guilty an unsure about their food choices. These are my Five Key Simplified Food Philosophy’s to take the overwhelm out of diet/food/nutrition.  They are not hard and fast rules, but I always come back to these core points. I lost over seven stone doing this, no tricks or fads. 

Mindful eating

‘If not dieting, then what?’ by Rick Kausman is an excellent book to wrap your head around mindful eating.  A simple questions to ask yourself when you are eating is. ‘I can have it if I want it, but do I really feel like it?’.  There is actually no right or wrong answer!

Mindful eating really challenges to listen to your body. What does you body want, how does your body react (positive or negative) to certain foods.  Choose to eat with the intention of caring for your body, with the attention to the affects on your body.

What are your beliefs?

It is totally a fair question to take your beliefs and values into account when choosing how you nourish your body.  Do you care for sustainability, eating local, vegetarian, organic, cheapest/budget friendly, religious considerations? This may change for you several times over your life time and shouldn’t be something you feel guilty about.

 
Educate yourself

There is always new research coming through, so be wary of jumping down the rabbit hole of the latest super food taking Hollywood by storm.  Don’t be ignorant to what you are putting in your body.  What is really in for your food? Get some basic understanding of how your body works, how food works so you know how to care for your body better.

  

Keep it simple

Think fresh, unprocessed, unrefined, few ingredients and ingredient labels you can read.  All makes sense right! If it isn’t food – don’t eat it! You know all those logical things your grandmother and earlier generations would have been teaching us.  Eat the ‘rainbow’ (colourful range of food) and eat in season.

 
Don’t restrict yourself.

Weather it be full food groups or avoiding social situations because of the ‘temptation’ you may be presented with.  It’s ok to indulge (just listen to your body, have you had enough, how do you feel afterwards?).  Food is fuel but it is also a wonderful cultural and social ritual that should be enjoyed.

How do you stay in shape?

 

Moving To A New City!

 After University I moved to London, then to LA, then to New Zealand for a bit. Each time I’ve started completely from scratch. Without question, just moving again has been the hardest. I don’t know if it’s the culture shock of country life again or the fact that I’m “getting to old for this”, but fuck if this isn’t the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

If it’s one thing I know about moving to a new city though, is that it SUCKSBIGTIME until you find your people. Your community. I was depressed in Auckland for a whole year because I was relying too much on my partner. I didn’t make new friends or get involved in activities. On the flip side, my time in London was the best two years of my life because I had a pre-set group of friends and I was madly in love with my roommates.

Here, I live alone. I came here with no friends in the area, but in the past month I think I’ve made a decent dent. While I’m by no means part of any community yet (except my rad job), here’s how I’ve attempted to get my shit together in a new place in a short amount of time:

Friends of Friends

 Do you have a friend in the new place? or a friend who might know someone? E-introduce! I love meeting friends of friends because it automatically gives us common ground and, since they obviously like a friend, they’re always spectacular themselves. I also lucked out and have my oldest, best friend from childhood live an hour a way. While we may not have hung out for almost a decade, it’s funny how old friends so easily fall back into familiar patterns.

Twitter

The problem with living abroad was that I would read blogs, fall in love with these people from afar, and never get to go to their meet ups/conferences/events. But now I can finally reach out to blog crushes and buy them a coffee. But it's also been a great way to meet new people too! Just engage in a conversation on a topic, before you know it you're besties!

Office

I’m lucky in that everyone in my office is young and fantastic and fascinating. Since day one my coworkers have invited me to their homes for dinner, taken me to lunch and given me advice about settling in my new city.

Say Yes

When you’re settled in a city you know well, it’s easy to say no to a spontaneous opportunity because you want to get home to your cat. Or do your washing. Or get to bed on time. But when you’re new to a place, saying no means you’ve denied yourself a chance to make friends. So I’ve made it my mission since arriving here to say yes to every invitation that comes my way. Want to play iPhone games at friend of a friend friend’s apartment? Why not? Take a yoga class in a cathedral after work? Don’t mind if I do. Attend walking tour of the city then say yes to the tour guide when he invites you to a pirate-themed bar? Of course.

I’m still getting my sea-legs and even though I’ve been out every single night for the past 14, I still haven’t found my people. And for that, I’m going to cut myself some slack and stay in tonight and watch The Office until my eyes bleed.

Thanks to Natalia for this post!

Do you have any tips for moving?

50 Questions To Ask Your Crush

Someone I’m friends with told me about a date she was on where the guy asked her what her favourite colour was. She broke it off right then because, as she explained, at her age she had deep life experiences and if he was only interested in superficial crap like colour preferences, they were incompatible. With that in mind, I collected a a cheat sheet of questions that can speak to your potential partner’s substance (or lack thereof). Or, at least give you something to talk about if it turns out you don’t have awesome conversation chemistry.

1. What is one thing you will never do again?

2. Would you rather be twice as smart or twice as happy?

3. What happened the last time you cried?

4. What happened the time in your life when you were the most nervous to do something?

5. What would your parents be surprised to learn about you?

6. What’s your worst habit?

7. What superpower would you have for one day?

8. What fictional character do you have the biggest crush on?

9. Where would you live if you could live anywhere in the world?

10. What is your most bizarre annoyance?

 11. Who knows you the best?

12. What after school activities did you do in high school?

13. What “most likely to” superlative would you be most honoured to receive?

14. What’s the last book you really loved?

15. What was the greatest television show of all time?

16. What’s been your favourite age so far?

17. If you could go back in time, what is one piece of advice you would give your younger self?

18. What one thing would you be most disappointed if you never got to experience it?

19. Apologise or ask permission?

20. Unlimited love or money?

21. If you knew you would die in one week, what would you do?

22. What’s your most listened to song?

23. Beach Holiday or City Holiday?

24. If you could have been a child prodigy what would you have wanted to be skilled at?

25. What’s the first thing you would do if you won the lottery?

26. What celebrity would you trade lives with?

27. If you were a performing artist, what would you title your first album?

28. What story do your friends still give you crap about?

29. If earth could only have one condiment for the rest of time, what would you pick to keep around?

30. What is the ideal number of people to have over on a Friday night?

31. What was the worst age you’ve been so far?

32. What is your weirdest dealbreaker?

33. What fictional character reminds you most of yourself?

34. Do you believe in karma?

35. What was your favourite TV show as a kid?

36. What is the weirdest thing you find attractive in a person?

37. What would be your mastermind speciality?

38. What is something you’re superstitious about?

39. What is the scariest experience you have ever had?


40. Who is a non-politician you wish would run for parliament?

41. What cheesey song do you have memorised?

42. What one dead person would you most like to have dinner with, if it were possible?

43. Do you think it’s important to stay up to date with the news?

44. What is the best present you’ve ever received?

45. Would you give up one of your fingers if it meant you’d have free wifi wherever you go, for the rest of your life?

46. What’s the first thing you’d do if you were the opposite sex for one day?

47. If someone told you you could give one person a present and your budget was unlimited–what present would you get and for whom?

48. What is the nicest thing someone could say about you?

49. Giant house in a housing estate or tiny house somewhere with a view?

50. What is the weirdest quirk your family has?

Would you ask any specific questions?!

Distract Yourself When Waiting For A Call!

Over the past ten-ish years, I have spent more time than I’d like to admit waiting for some guy I was dating (or wanted to date) to call or text me back. I know I’m not alone. Most women are all too familiar with hoping a guy will call, wondering if he will and worrying that he’s just going to vanish because he wasn’t really interested in the first place. Which is to say, waiting for a guy to call is a special type of hell, right?  One guy I dated used to go weeks in between phone calls or texts, only to seem baffled when I was less than enthused to finally hear from him when he’d magically reappear.

Since you’re way too awesome and hot to stare at your phone all day, here are 20 semi-productive things you can do while waiting for a guy to call.

Send a text message to your best friend or your mum. Someone who would never dare ignore you!

Write down ten things about yourself, inside and out, that you love. Yes, it’s cheesy–but I bet you feel better after.

Take some ridiculous yet oh so HOT selfies.  

Change into workout clothes and think about going for a run, to the gym or just dancing around your house. Bonus points if you actually do it, but no pressure, seriously. It’s the thought that counts!

Do a quick purge of your Facebook friends. Do you really need to know what 1200 people ate for dinner?

 Turn your phone off! It’s not the boss of you.

Pour yourself a drink. Repeat. Cheers!

Go on a date with someone else. Distract yourself with someone else!

Makeout with someone else. Quite the distraction.

Pick the one task on your to-do list that you’ve been putting off the longest, and DO IT. You will feel amazing after, whether your phone is ringing or not.

 One word: Vibrator. Who needs a guy anyway?

Stay busy. Accept every happy hour, blind date or dinner invitation that comes your way and throw yourself into your job.

Go to sleep early. Not because you’re depressed, but because sleep is awesome.

Scroll through his past text messages…and then delete them.  

Banish anxiety. Whether you take a bubble bath, meditate or talk to a friend, try not to freak out. You can’t control if he calls or not, but you can control how you handle it either way.

Get lost in your Netflix queue for a while. New OITNB, anyone?

Find a cute puppy or child to play with. Kids and puppies have a way of reminding us to live in the moment. See also-Adorable!

Treat yourself to your favourite indulgent food. It is virtually impossible to worry about some dude when you have all your favourite foods.

Lightly internet stalk him. Just a little bit and proceed with caution! This one can backfire, but you might find yourself reading the inane or annoying status updates he’s posted or selfies and over emoji use and realise that you’re not really that interested in him, after-all. Of course, you might end up liking him more, but hey, 50/50.

What is your favorite way to distract yourself while waiting to hear from a guy?
 

11 Little Things To Make You Happy!

1. Comfort food.

I put this one first for a reason, and that reason is that comfort food is one of the most basic components of being a happy, well-adjusted human. There is no meeting so soul-suckingly boring that a little pizza won’t make you go out of your way to attend it. There is no emotional wound that cannot be at least temporarily patched up with some hot, crispy chicken nuggets and fries with ranch and honey mustard sauces. . Comfort food has leveled up as high as possible in the Healer Class, and we should respect it. 

2. Clean sheets.

Man, you just feel gross as shit when you’re on grimy sheets. You feel like a sentient ball of pond scum, temporarily inhabiting a vaguely moist hell that used to resemble your bedroom. It feels like your whole life is falling apart, and the second you change them to those fresh, fluffy, cool-and-warm-at-the-same-time new sheets, everything is back where it should be. You sleep like an angel on a cloud of success. 

3. A breeze.

If there is one state of affairs that reminds us just how completely our overall dispositions depend on our atmospheric surroundings, it is being trapped somewhere that is hot as hell and getting a breeze to cool your fevered brow. 

4. A hot shower.

Hot showers, especially when you’re achy or dirty, feel like getting kissed all over your body by a thousand tiny Ryan Goslings. It’s being baptized by the Cleanliness Gods in your own home, and it is an irreplaceable necessity to happiness. 

5. Alone time.

All of the thrilling social activities in the world mean absolutely nothing if you can’t punctuate them with some nice time to just unwind, watch your weird-ass “me time” videos on YouTube, and be a total slob in your underwear.

6. Someone who remembers with you.

You need at least one person to discuss your memories, your experiences, and the person you used to be with. If you don’t have anyone who also remembers certain periods in your life, it can start to feel as though they never happened at all (or that they don’t count). But when you start wandering down memory lane hand-in-hand with someone, it is the emotional equivalent of someone bringing out a surprise ice cream cake and two enormous spoons. You get to just feel all the warm fuzzies, and make each other remember stuff, and giggle over inside jokes. It’s the best.

7. A nice wake-up.

For some of us, including myself, mornings will never be that nice. But if you don’t at least get a few minutes to groggily look at your phone, put something resembling food in your body, and get a little coffee or tea, your day is doomed. When you wake up in an incoherent panic and you have to run out the door wearing the first thing that wasn’t stained with the blood of your enemies, you know that you are just going to feel a little bit like shit all day long. 

8. Good internet.

Having something to do on the internet and watching in agony as each page takes a full 30 seconds to load is amongst the most visceral frustrations we can experience. It’s the kind of thing to make you rip your laptop off its cord and throw it against the wall because you would rather do all of your communication by carrier pigeon from now on.

9. Purchases that are just for you.

Come on, you need to get something for yourself every now and again. If you don’t occasionally treat yourself to a bag of bulk chocolate, or a new Primark dress that appears to be made out recycled cardboard, or a movie for one in the middle of a Saturday afternoon, what is life about?

 

10. A comfy sweater.

There is no feeling that makes you feel more safe, more comfortable, more deliciously warm and cozy than pulling a sweater around you, over your palms and up onto your neck, until you are less a human being and more an anthropomorphic ball of wool. It’s like being hugged by your clothes.

Whether it’s the friend who doesn’t need any social issues explained to them (and who will never make horribly oppressive jokes because they don’t believe in being “PC”), or the person who is just as obsessed with that one book/show/movie/band as you are and does not matter one bit if you want to talk about it for an entire five-hour hangout session, we all need the person who “gets it.” You don’t need a group of them, you just need the one, and your sanity will be intact. Without them, you will begin to slowly question whether or not your entire reality is a figment of your imagination. Your happiness is always reinforced by their existence.

Dancing Tips!

Dancing is a way to show off your finest assets, general dancing tips be in club music or ballroom are: 

Stand facing your partner. If you don't have a partner do the dancing solo!

Make eye contact. This is key, as you can assess in a moment whether they actually know how to dance and will be able to take the pressure off you. Depending on the tempo and genre of music you have several options, whether to just wiggle, hold hands and so on. You may have to try out a lot of dance partners, but view it like finding the perfect fit of jeans or shoes. 

You have to go through a lot of 'nearly's' and 'not quite rights' before you find perfect harmony and happiness. Remember dancing is 10% skill and 90% confidence. 

Think Ginger Rogers, Beyonce, Jennifer Lopez, A sexy pole dancer...

Dutch courage is often necessary but do the maths first! Where are you? who are you with? Is there anyone you want/need to impress? Anyone you work with there? How dance friendly is your outfit? Above all what shoes are you wearing? It is crucial to calculate the shoe to alcohol ratio. 

Watch music videos and learn, doing the time warp, the birdie song, etc are never and do never look cool. If you lack coordination shimmy on the sidelines! If you dance as well make sure you wear shoes you can dance in, and if you're not on the beach then don't go bare foot! If you want to, take lessons! You learnt to drive so why not learn to dance? 

How to Pick the Perfect Houseplant!

I used to think that caring for plants was simple. Put it in a pot, give it some water and that was it. My Mum loved gardening, still does and would spend hours in the garden, creating and landscaping.

Given my exposure to plants, one would think I’d be a bit of a green thumb. Disappointingly, I’m quite the opposite. You give me a plant to look after, and I’ll find a way to kill it. So far I’ve killed an aloe AND a cactus, which makes me so sad to even think about it. I mean, who knew that you had to take into consideration not only the amount of sunlight a plant needs, but also the different types of sunlight. Combine that with soil, water and fertilizer, and it’s safe to say whatever plants are left in my apartment have literally been living on the edge for quite some time.

I love the calming energy that plants bring to my home. The greenery reminds me of my Mum and how she used to speak to her plants while gardening. I name all of my plants. So I spoke to my mum about getting some tips!

 

Consider your schedule
If you are often out of town, choose plants that can survive a few weeks without watering, like jade or rubber plants, mini-geraniums, golden pathos, or any kind of philodendron.

Think about lighting
Think about where your plants will reside, and then pick those types that will best thrive in those conditions. Each plant has different needs, so research whether a plant needs high, medium or low light.

Take humidity into consideration
If you live in a dry climate, avoid houseplants that require high air-moisture levels unless you plan to put them in a room that’s often humid, like the bathroom. Tropical plants like Pink Sunburst cannas, caladiums, and lantanas need humidity; succulents and cacti are desert plants that thrive in dry air.

Go with hearty plants
Find your green thumb more easily by choosing heartier plant varieties like ZZ palms, wave petunias, dragon trees, ivy, and crotons. If you manage to kill those, switch to silk plants!

Do have any house plants?