Living with your best gal pals always seems like a freakin’ fantastic
idea.
I
remember signing my first lease and daydreaming about my girlfriends
and I setting up our place, cooking great meals, drinking way too much
wine and having pillow fights for our own damn good. Looking back on
these daydreams, I seemed to have forgotten that we all had different
schedules, different goals and pillow fights were not on the cards.
In the end, even though the IDEA of living with great friends may
seem like the right choice, think long and hard about the friendships
that are worth keeping.
Your friends may come with emotional baggage
The ability to be not only a friend, but a good friend, is important to
sustain a meaningful friendship. If you or your roommates have some sort
of problem that requires support from close friends, living with
someone who needs that support can hinder relationships. Offering
constant advice and being someone’s emotional crutch can be exhausting,
especially when your first priority is taking care of yourself. Offering
advice and support from a distance can be more helpful and encourage
the person to problem solve on their own. This means that you can be a
good friend and at the same time, be a useful source of advice without
feeling overwhelmed.
Someone likes alcohol a little too much
We all party hard at Uni (well most) Sure that’s fun on the weekends or once and awhile, but there
always seems to be a booze-hound in the house. Ok, these gatherings can be
pretty fun, but how often do you really want to deal with the dirty
aftermath of these events? The stench of booze-laden breath in class the
next morning is only socially acceptable so many times. Make sure your
gal pals have similar attitudes around drinking/partying or make sure
you have strong enough willpower to do what you need to. This mindset
comes with the complimentary title of house party-pooper.
They don’t have the same vengeful attitude as you do when it comes to a dirty kitchen (or any house common area)
So many of my past roommate conflicts have come from dirty common
areas. Take, for example, the kitchen and dirty dishes. Who used what
mug or who left their shit on the stove doesn’t really matter if, in the
end, the dishes get cleaned. Just do your dishes when you’re finished
using them (instead of leaving them to crust over and harbor bacteria in
the sink). Doesn’t this seem like simple, common sense knowledge? I
think so, too.
*Note:
If you know, for a fact, that somebody is not cleaning their dishware
(and you are looking to stir the pot hehe!) make a trail of dirty dishes
from the sink to their bedroom. I cannot speak from experience but I
hear this tactic is quite effective.
You have the same schedules
Hanging out with good friends is great, but hanging out with good
friends in class, during your free time, during your meal times, and
right before bed can be tolerable at most. Just like unlimited drunk
pizza, your friends can be too much of a good thing. Take the personal
time you need if your roommates become overwhelming…or just live with
people who have different interests and never wanted to hang out with
you in the first place.
Somebody has a pet
Any household with a pet can cause roommate conflict. If the owner is
not taking full responsibility of their animal, I can guarantee
somebody is not going to be happy. If you’re already having issues with
your live-in friends, don’t drag a poor dog or cat into the mix. Animals
can sense emotion from the people around them. Who wants a stressed out
pooch/kitty/ferret/chinchilla/etc.? Not me.
They have significant others
This is a big one. You may not think that your roommates significant
others should affect your feelings towards your roommate. Believe me,
they will. Significant others tend to linger around the house and stay
just a tiny bit over their welcome. This, of course, is brushed under the
rug for a bit because it seems temporary. But, when this significant
other starts using the
cable/dishes/food/electricity/internet/washer/dryer and isn’t paying a
penny, there’s a definite problem. It is obnoxious, it is impolite, and
you will end up hating your roommate when she gets defensive after you
bring up the obvious problems with her boyfriend hanging around 24/7.
Plus, you have to deal with her significant other eating the majority of
your snack food and leaving the toilet seat up (not cool).
You and your friends ‘split groceries’
Since you all get along so well anyways (I mean you’re such great
friends), why not split groceries to make everything a bit easier? This
never, ever works. Either someone’s going to get drunk and eat too many
pizza slices or there will be some type of feud over who ate the last
slice of bread. To outsiders, these examples seem minimal and harmless,
but harboring ill will towards a roommate who you think took more than
their fair share can be unhealthy and catty. Skip the drama and buy
your own grub.
You are the responsible one who pays all the bills
Being in charge of monthly payments can be a bitch. Everyone is poor
in Uni anyways and nobody wants the task of haggling money out of
each roommate when a payment is looming. It’s harder to press people you
like for money versus someone you could care less about. You never want
bill paying to become anything more than a mere transaction. I would
avoid being in charge of this task (it really sucks).
One final piece of advice: Do NOT use a dry-erase board for
communication purposes. There is nothing more obnoxious than
passive-aggressiveness. Just voice your opinion whenever there is an
issue (especially if it effects more than just you). Don’t write it with
an excessive amount of exclamation points or evil emoticons. This can
make people feel slighted and crappy.
Have you had better luck with friends?
