How To Be A Social Badass!

We have all been there, been in a situation that makes us uncomfortable, worried and anxious. How can we deal with it? well become a social badass! So what is a social badass? A social badass is an individual who dominates social situations without anxiety or trepidation of any kind. You know the one I mean right? we all know them!

Ok so anyone able to actually do this? Well fear not here are our tips of the badassery of being socially awesome. These are just fun tips, on how to become super confident!  

So how to do it? Make Eye Contact, If someone asks you what you’re staring at, just smile and respond, “Sorry, I thought you were an old friend.” Focus on one eye and be sure to blink occasionally so you don’t look like a psycho. Also many people forget that by just saying 'Hi' it doesnt make us mental, it makes us friendly - people actually like being spoken to (well most!) always have a smile when you say it, or else you might well scare people! Warning: Some people will completely ignore you and not respond, but don’t be discouraged. There are some very shy and/or angry people in this world and you have just given them one more reason to have faith in mankind.

Challenge yourself. The point of these challenges is to become comfortable with the most extreme social behavior so normal interaction becomes a piece of cake. If you’re fine driving at 120 mph, 60 is going to be easy to the point of boredom. Do something that will inevitably making people stare. Social anxiety is rooted in the fear of being looked at as weird, so face that fear head-on by acting strange. Wear some crazy clothing like neon short-shorts or the fanciest frock you have which you wouldn't normally wear in the day. Put your hair into the weirdest monstrosity for an entire day - you get the idea.

Now this one terrifies me, Get Phone Numbers. According to pick-up-artists, the best method is to walk over and ask immediately when you see someone of interest to avoid over-thinking. Don’t give yourself any time to talk yourself out of it! Here’s an example script from author Tim Ferris: 

“Excuse me, I know this is going to sound strange, but if I don’t ask you know, I’ll be kicking myself for the rest of the day. I’m running to meet a friend [i.e., I have friends and am not a stalker], but I think you’re really [extremely, drop dead] cute [gorgeous, beautiful, hot]. Could I have your phone number? You can give me a fake one if you’re not interested.” 

 

Lastly try anchoring? what is anchoring you say? In short, anchoring is the attachment of a feeling/sensation/emotion to a specific physical movement. They are used to cause an immediate change in your attitude via a physical stimulus.

Think of the most badass person that you can think of. This can be from a TV/movie character or someone you know in real life. Choose someone who you are intimately familiar with so that you know specific details to emulate. Mine is Samantha Jones (Sex and the city, not all the time but she's oozes confidence!

Imagine how this person walks, talks, thinks and drinks. Try to imagine exactly how this person feels when they’re walking through some place. How fast do they turn their head when someone calls their name? What is their posture like? Do they make constant eye-contact? Master their every mannerism.

Now go forth and be a social badass!

How To Deal With A Break Up On Social Media

Oh break ups! You have the raging row, you storm our the house, you put the angriest song on and drive home. What is our first instinct? Get on social media, slam him, put independent woman quotes, tweets 'girl problems' on the twitter. Don't worry we have all been there, you're not alone – in this digital age people are very quick to take to social media to express emotions (especially when alcohol has been involved.) But it's become a general second nature, think of all the photos of dinner in instagram! But when it comes to break ups? DON'T DO IT. 

Instead, practice some social media break-up etiquette. Now, every break-up is different, so not all of these rules will apply to any one relationship. They are more like guidelines for a happier social media life. So, heed the warnings! Here is our advice 

Do NOT rant about your Ex on Facebook. Everyone wants to do this. It has become almost an instinctive reaction to either good or bad news. The whole Facebook world needs to know about it, right? Wrong. Please, keep that shit to yourself. Because you know what? Think about it when we see people post stuff like that, we laugh? we analyse? And we make assumptions etc – so don't let you be that person.

 

If you do want to post something, then post something positive, something good in your life and about new beginnings etc. So don't post that clearly attention begging status such as 'Why do bad things always happen to me?' it's attention seeking and quite frankly annoying. Post something positive! This IS a new beginning. 

Yes, feel free to delete your Ex, unfollow him, and basically eliminate him from your social network. It’s your personal network, and if you don’t want to see him/him to see you, by all means, get rid of him. It can also be wise to do this especially if you find yourself continuing to check his facebook/twitter/instagram it stops you from being able to. 

Defiantly do this to avoid the urge to stalk your ex after a few wines at 2am. This is the biggest problem! As when you accidentally hit like his status from 2011 or a picture, or see new girls commenting etc well it's only going to make you feel bad.

 

However, I would advise against blocking the Ex, (unless necessary). I know not everyone wants to be friends with an Ex, but he/she was very close to you for a reason. By not blocking, you leave the option for friendship open. However if he is cheating, lying horrible bastard? Well they by all means block away. But from experience I am friends with a few exes, and only because the door was left open. 

There is then the problem of the mutual friends, or being friends with his family and friends. Now deleting them all straight away can look bad, so possibly if you can just do it slowly weed them out over a few weeks. That being said just because you met through your ex as long as it doesn't cause any drama then why not stay friends with them? 

Angry? Got some pretty racey photos of your ex? Well don't post them, don't honestly. Even if he has done you wrong, what are the chances he has something you might not even know about? Save them for a laugh, but if you post them it makes you look angry and upset (even though you might be) but you're asking for a war, and trust me no one will win. 

Finally, when in doubt, do NOT post anything when you’re upset, angry or sad. I’m talking anything. It could be liking a status, tweeting something snarky, or just writing “I Miss You” on his wall. Don’t do it! None of these are things that you’re going to look back on in 24 hours and think, oh yeah, that was smart. 

Break ups suck. It’s a fact of life. But Love is great, and people will continue to search for it. Just remember, along the path to finding that right guy, you’ll have some stumbles. 

So, just make sure your social media self doesn’t create more issues and drama than your real life.

How do you know when a friendship is over?

 Source Unkown

  The other day someone I am working with on a collaboration was telling me about their best friend. I couldnt help but feel that (although I had only heard one side) the friendship to me just didn't sound like it was working out. Friendships are relationships that should be cherished, but they need to be balanced. If you constantly worry that your friend is mad at you, that your friend just seems to come to you when shit if hitting the fan, most importantly that a particular friendship is causing you more harm than good, well then it might be time to re-evaluatete it.

The older I have gotton, the more I value my friendships. I no longer want the most friends, or the fullest phonebook, I like to have people that I trust, value, and respect and want to spend time with, and vice versa! 

  So how do you know when a friendship isn't working? What are the signs? 

Why your friends shouldn't and might not always agree with you (however much we wish they would!) they and you should always keep an open mind about what you are sharing with them. We should always be able to put our point of view aisde and look at things from other peoples perspective, and if we cant, or people don’t? Well that is not a healthy relationship.

 Source Unknown

 Saying that not every conversation with your friends needs to be deep and meaningful. But strong, lasting friendships are built on more than just shopping, grabbing coffee, or getting drunk. If your friend is not interested in trying to build on these relationships, or are you, it is not saying that it is a bad friendship, but it isn't a deep one. If you only do these things with your 'close' friends and that friendship doesn't go deeper, then how close are you really? 

Image Source

 

You ever had that friend that you know isn't going to want to go to your favourite dinner spot? Know that they will criticse your choice of attire? But you even think of even critcising them? Well you know the backlash that will ensue? That's not friendship, and personally? talk it out and explain how you feel or walk away. It is the same if your friend is only interested in what she/he gets out of your relationship. If you find that 9/10th's of the conversation are taken up by her, and her problems then it's not a mutual friendship, you're acting more as a counsellor.

If you find yourself in a friendship that's causing you more stress than enjoyment, you may want to end the relationship. Most friendships don't totally have to end you just have to reevaulate where they are on the friendship spectrum. 

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So you feel in friendship limbo what can you do to make it or break it?

You need to decide if the problems in this friendship, like the ones discussed are more than just a blip in your well being. If they are becoming detrimental to your life, growth and health? Well it's time to take a step away. If you're not sure about what to do or whether you are in the right or wrong then it's best to ask someone else who is unbiased. Asking someone who is not in the friendship, can give you the clarity you need, but make sure you are being honest also. If you come to the conclusion that the friendship is over, then move on.

Friendships may have their ups and downs, but they are supposed to be positive aspects of our lives. If you are coming away feeling more negative than positive from the relationship then it may be time to let it go.