We have all been there, but here are our tips for the dating game!
This strategy is usually employed for one of two reasons. The first is to protect one’s ego. When it comes to dating, everyone, on some level, fears rejection. Playing it cool and not getting too involved may make you feel safe, but you risk coming across as aloof or remote, and may turn the other person off. Balance between demonstrating interest and maintaining your composure is best. Another reason people play games is to get something you want that you wouldn’t likely get if you played it straight. For example, telling someone you love him or her so they will sleep with you, and then not calling them again. This form of manipulation is simply unacceptable (to put it mildly), and does not lead to healthy relationships. You will get further in less time in finding a relationship if you allow yourself to be genuine. It’s OK to put your best foot forward, and also to be a bit cautious, but have the courage to be upfront and show who you are.
Talking too much about your ex:
While this information will eventually be shared at least to some extent, it shouldn’t be discussed in detail during the initial phase of a relationship. You want to get to know the person and each have a chance for a fresh start. Carrying old baggage into a new relationship amounts to clutter. If you have baggage, then best to work it out before pursuing a new relationship, at least to a point where it isn’t affecting your reactions and clouding your judgement.
Obsessing over details:
This one is common with those who worry. The worry may be a general habit, but now it is turned on the subject of the relationship: worry about what the other person said, worry about what they meant by it, worry about how you reacted, worry about the relationship not working out, worry about what if it does work out, how will your parents react…on and on. Being anxious is a mood killer, and will not make you attractive to a potential mate. But don’t go worrying about that! Try to tap into your self-confidence and trust that if the relationship is meant to work out, it will.
Ignoring red flags:
If someone doesn’t show up when you’re supposed to meet, that’s a red flag. If they don’t let you call them at home, yep, red flag. If they kick their dog, bingo, red flag. Of course, there are more subtle warnings that one may be tempted to overlook, especially if one is eager for the relationship to work out. While one shouldn’t jump to conclusions without sufficient evidence on the first problem that arises, an emerging pattern is not something to make excuses for or brush under the rug. Address these problems early, and don’t waste your time.
Interrogating your date:
“How many children do you want” is not a good opening sentence. You want to show interest by asking about their likes or dislikes, but not press someone for information. Let things evolve a bit, as you get to know someone. Patience and restraint are required here, even though you may feel pressed for time. Do your best to relax and have fun.
Talking too much about yourself:
Just like asking too many questions especially of the personal nature is bad, going on and on about yourself is just as bad. It can come across as self centred, selfish and really it's quite annoying - of course talk about yourself, but make sure it's on an equal playing field!
LEAVE THE PHONE ALONE!
There is nothing more annoying than someone who cannot put their phone down, least of all on a date! Keep it on silent, and leave it be!
Do you have any tips?