July 2014

Tips And Tricks To Bleaching The Crap Out Of Your Hair

From popular demand I’ve decided instead of answering your questions individually this post will give you every detail on how I changed my hair from dark brown ombre to peroxide blonde. You’ll be getting tips on all the products I’ve used, how I’ve faded bright colours on my bleached hair and how to keep it in the best condition you can!

Hair history

Firstly I’m going to give you a brief bit of history of what I’ve done with my hair so you can get an idea of how I’ve managed to keep it in decent condition. Years ago I had extremely long dark hair and decided I wanted to bleach it, after many years of bleach, way too much dye and heat my hair ended up going shorter than shoulder length from damage. I decided to dye it brown (my natural hair colour) and just leave it until it was relatively long again. I didn’t use any heat on it at all. After having a shower I would towel dry as much as I could then tie it up and let it dry naturally. I know there’s some of you out there that won’t be able to do this I’ve just been lucky that my hair doesn’t need much taming. I hated it at first but within no time it grew so much and it was getting really thick again. I did get pregnant whilst trying to give my hair a break and people have said pregnancy can help but I don’t advise having a baby for longer hair! Whilst I was pregnant I decided to just get some dip dye. My hair soaks up colour/bleach really well so it didn’t need to be on long at all and the condition was still lovely and long.

Recovery products

As a lot of you have probably heard Moroccan oil is amazing! Unfortunately it is expensive and there are cheaper versions you can get but I don’t think they are as effective.

From personal experience I think you get what you pay for. Another favourite of mine is moroccan oil nourishing intense hydrating hair mask. Best used once/twice a week for best results. Again it is expensive but it lasts for months and really does do what its supposed to.

I like to alternate between different shampoo but the one I love the most has to be Joico Kpak shampoo and Joico deep penetrating treatment.

Preparation

Even though I didn’t dye my hair for years I was advised to use a hair stripper to level it all out a bit so I didn’t have bands of different colours once it was bleached and hopefully it wouldn’t need to be bleached too much. There's a lot of different products you can use but I used a simple one called ‘colour before’ you can get it from pretty much any supermarket.

Bleaching

Okay so now here’s the hard bit! I didn’t bleach my hair myself and never will simply because I don’t trust what the outcome will be. A professional knows what they’re doing and will make sure you leave with the best results they can provide. I was really careful with how mine was lightened. Firstly I had a full head of watered down bleach, this is called a bleach bath. It’s just a weaker solution that lightens your hair without being too harsh too quickly. After that was washed out my hair went a really copper orange colour. It didn’t actually look too bad but it wasn’t the look I was going for! Then I had a full head of bleach put on. Now my natural hair is pretty dark so it wasn’t platinum blonde after that. it was kind of like a yellowy colour. Some hairdressers may have toner to put on but I much prefer doing the rest myself because you can then pick what products you prefer and use them as much as you like in the comfort of your own home.

Getting rid of that yellow

Right! Depending how dark your hair was before bleaching it could still be quite yellowy and uneven. Best thing to do is give it a rest for a few days (if you can stand it) then try Bleach London Toner on it. I was advised to leave it on quite a bit longer than it said on the box but I was nervous because it has some bleach in it. If you don’t want to try Bleach London, you could try an ash blonde hair dye to even out the tones in your hair.

Toners

I was told to try all sorts of toners but I found the one with the best results was the white toner by Directions. This stuff does no damage to your hair. Before applying I wash my hair in the morning but only with shampoo then leave it to naturally dry. I strongly advise to ignore what it says on the tub and leave it on for at least 3-4 hours to begin with. My hair is quite long and thick so I have to use at least four tubs of it to get it really well covered, then to avoid it drying out just twist your hair into a bun on top of your head and put a bag on it. If you don’t put a bag over your head the toner will dry out and stop working. Depending on how well your hair takes to products it could end up going a little lilac but don't panic! If you don't want the lilac it fades after just a few washes.

Treat a toner day as a you day. Get some films, your favourite food and stay in your pj’s!

The fun bit!

A lot of you have been asking me what dye I used to get it blue. It was once again by Directions and its called Blue lagoon. I left it on for about an hour and my hair took to it ridiculously well. To apply I did the same process as explained with the white toner just don’t leave it on as long. Oh and make sure you wear some gloves, I stupidly didn’t use any and looked like something out of Avatar for a few days!

I didn't bother dying my hair again for a while because I wanted to see what would happen as it faded. As expected it eventually went to a light blue. As some of you will know blue is an awkward colour to get out, I learnt this the hard way. I didn’t want to have to bleach it out for a while so I decided to get different shampoos that are supposed to help fade hair. The best ones I thought were head and shoulders shampoo and conditioner. I heard that coca cola or washing up liquid is meant to help fade hair too but I’ve never personally tried it so I can’t give a review on whether it works better. I used the head and shoulders pretty much every day as well as using my hair recovery products to keep it as healthy as possible. Eventually my hair faded to a kind of minty green, which was nice for a while but it wasn’t a colour I wanted to keep.

To get the last bits of green out of my hair I had to go back to the salon (I’m really lucky my sister is an amazing hairdresser) and she used a bleach bath to get it out.

I hope this has helped you all! Sorry if I seemed to ramble a lot but there has been so many questions I wanted to try and cover everything. If you’ve got any other questions or topics you want me to cover let me know!

The 5 Types Of Friend to Avoid Being

As you get older you can pick and choose friends, but when you look at your friendship group there is always 'positions' everyone has roles, but what role do you play? I tend to be cast as the joker, the party animal, and the one you know will be awake at 4am so it's fine to call. But there are some roles you don't want to have, and more so why exactly are you friends with them? I have therefore narrowed it down to five!

The Competitive One

Lets be serious; is there anything worse? They disguise themselves as friends when really in their mind everything is one big contest that they must, MUST win. In school it’s better grades, more friends, the hot boyfriend. These people will grow up to become friends that NEED to have a bigger house than you, get paid more money, etc. etc. etc. No friendship based on competition is ever a true friendship. Ideally people should revel in their friends successes not be plotting ways to achieve more than them.

The One in the Best Relationship

Maybe it is just because I was in a relatinoship for so so long, I just don’t see the dire need to display things on the regular. If you are in a relationship it goes without saying that now and again he might say something nice to you, or he may even buy you flowers. Why are women always so awestruck by these things that they need to run and tell the world? I just find it odd. When your man builds you a castle with his bare hands that’s when I’d like to see 12 pictures of it.

The Trouble Maker

Your close friends should know what makes you happy and what is only going to make you upset and they act accordingly· Trouble makers will say things such as 'did you see the way she looked at you' or 'Pretty sure that passive aggressive facebook status was about you' they do it under the guise of a good friend. Maybe they truly do think they are helping but if what they say most of the time is just stirring the pot (and stirring up your crazy) try not to take it too seriously.

The ME, ME, ME.

Conversations in ideal essence should be a mixture of “I” statements and “you” statements. Where is the fun in a conversation if the entirety of it you are listening to someone talk about themselves? It's the one you know where you say 'Oh god I have had a terrible day' and something worse has ALWAYS happened to them. Sometimes you really do just have to listen to people and thats fine, but don't forget that really the fact you spilt coffee on your dress, really isn't up there with someone who just wrote off their car.

The Judgemental One

Sometimes we all do silly things, we kiss 10 guys in a night even though we are over 30, we get so drunk we sleep in a dog basket – we all do these crazy behaviours. These things happen and it would be nice is your friends would just silently love you for the moderately insane person you might well be. You didn't judge them for the time they dated the married man, so why should they judge you now? We all question and overanalyze our choices enough as it is without friends guilt tripping us or making us second guess things.

What kind of friend do you think play in your friendship group?

Macro Monday 118

Oh Monday is back again! Later on myself and Pixie are off to play in the woods and take pretty pics - however Monday wouldn't be Monday without Macros!

LOLS forever, if you haven't watched Most Popular girls - hop to it! Most popular girls

Pretty much describes how I feel about some idiots on the internet.

I don't know why I find this twitter so funny.

Ken Doll on the escalator

Summer heights high, always.

So true.

Good come back!

Perfect use of emoticons!

Always this gif.

Yea, fuck of Mavis

This is insane!

Till next week!

Why I Love Being A Housewife.

This post if written by guest poster one of my best friends Claire. So here she talks about how as much as she loved her job and her life, she is now a happy housewife! Enjoy!

Despite my best intentions, my marriage isn't new or hip or trendy. I cook and clean. He does the lawn and the taxes. I pick out curtains and decorate. He watches the budget and takes the rubbish out. It’s not that way because I am trying to reverse the women’s movement, it’s just that our marriage works better that way. I am a better cook. He’s a whiz at taxes. I really enjoy a nicely mopped floor. He loves multiple trips to homebase. Call it genetics. Call it culture. It’s who we are.

I used to feel guilty that my marriage seemed so normal. When I got married I imagined my marriage would be different. I wanted to bust up traditions. Reinvent what marriage meant. I was determined not to let my marriage resemble the traditional roles. So, two months after I said “I do”, when I found myself unemployed and picking up my husband’s socks off the floor, I started to cry. When T came home and found me sobbing on the sofa, I threw my apron at him. “You make dinner!” He made hot dogs from a can. Breaking down traditions didn’t taste as good as I thought it would.

I did eventually find a job, although I work at home. And no matter how many suits or power heels I own, I still throw on an apron every night and cook barefoot in the kitchen. It’s not that we haven’t tried to break tradition. We tried to rotate cooking duties, until I got tired of fish and chips. Once, I took over lawn duties. But when the lawn became a pile of weeds, I was fired. My husband and I do split the majority of the cleaning; however, I find it cathartic to scrub the floors and he finds it convenient to let me. This isn’t to say we divide life on strictly gendered lines. For example, I get the oil changed and take care of the cars and he does the laundry. But these changes stuck, not because of gender, but because of our own individual strengths.

Ultimately, in our struggle to break tradition, my husband and I learned that tradition is what works the best for us. I’ve given up trying to turn my marriage into a feminist ideal. I haven't given up on feminist ideals; it’s just that I believe that at its heart feminism is about choice. I'm happy being barefoot in the kitchen as long as it's accompanied with a glass of wine.

Thanks so much to Claire for sharing!

What To Do When They Don't Want You Anymore?

You didn't expect this to happen, you had noticed that they were maybe being a little distant with you, but you know that feeling when you assume that once you sit down and talk it through that things will be sorted, resolved you can go back to being happy. But then it doesn't work out like that, they tell you how hard it is, and they are sorry but it has to end. When a break up comes out of nowhere you can go from being so happy, to leaving single, alone and unsure of how you are going handle tonight let alone the future months.

You try and convince yourself that this isn't going to permanent, they will realise after some time has passed how much they miss you, you love each other right? So you wait. You look at your phone and hope each time it rings or buzzes that it is them. They will tell you they made a mistake and they love you, and it is all going to be ok. The problem is this call never comes, you wait and wait and suffer some more but still nothing. Then it happens you relapse and contact them. After a bit on convincing they agree to talk, and talk you do.

This is it, they are going to realise how much you mean to them, how much you love them and they love you and it's all going to be OK – any second now they will say those words you need 'lets try again' but they don't. In your desperation, you start to say things that you don’t even know are true but that feel true in the moment: that you’ll never meet somebody as special as them, that your life feels empty without them, and that you can’t do this any more. You’re crying now, sobbing, and they’re five feet away but a million miles apart, unwilling to touch or hold you, unwilling to give you the physical comfort that you so desperately need. But they only have silence, they tell you that it isn't easy for them, but they mean it when they say it – they are never getting back together with you.

I know you are thinking never? All the memories, the amazing sex, the trips, the in jokes? Then you start to get angry. How could they do this to you, they promised they would catch you if you fell, and how can they just end this? And then they cry and they ask you to leave and you're not sure what just happened but it's over. Like really, really over. This pattern may well repeat, you wait for the phone calls, the texts and then you contact them and so the cycle repeats itself.

The pattern might repeat: the phone calls, the going over to their place and the devolving into an argument, but they stick by their decision through it all. And it starts to sink in: the fact that no matter what you say, what you do or how desperately you try, this person is not getting back with you. You want to feel angry, you want to feel betrayed, and more than anything, you just want to have them back. This has happened to me, and what did it? When he said to me 'I don't know if I love you anymore' and I suddenly realised well, thought do I really want to be with someone that didn't love me? But it still fucking hurts.

But I guarantee that if somebody breaks up with you, and sticks with it long enough to override all those probably-still-remaining feelings of attraction towards you, they really believe that it’s the right decision for themselves. And even if you disagree, you need to let them figure that out on their own. They can’t figure it out if they’re having sex with you. They can’t figure it out if they’re sleeping in bed cuddled up next to you. They can’t figure it out if you’re taking them on dates and kissing them on the forehead and telling them how much you love them. That shit’s confusing as hell. Intimacy is like the superglue of human relationships: it makes us stick together, whether or not we’re of the same material.

Find ways to occupy yourself in their absence. Be productive. Write in a journal, read a book, hang out with your friends. Don’t try to fill the void with someone else immediately; use the time alone to learn more about yourself. If you “do you,” it’s a win-win situation: either one day they’ll see that and feel attracted to you again, but even if they don’t, you’ll have grown and set yourself up for something even better, even more beautiful, in the future. You’re going through the five stages of grief right now; take solace in the fact that the final stage is acceptance. Maybe what attracted you guys to each other will eventually pull you together again, but not right now.

You can’t be in a relationship with somebody who doesn’t—or doesn’t know if they—want to be in a relationship with you. You know, in your heart of hearts, that that wouldn’t make you truly happy. And it wouldn’t make them happy either—the fact that they broke up with you is a testament to that. As much as your heart urges you otherwise, you know you don’t deserve a relationship with someone whose heart isn’t really in it. No one does.

Fashon Friday 103

This weeks Fashion Friday is cutie Pixie rocking the heat in this cute outfit!We are shooting lots of fun looks for the blog next week with Pixie! It's also her birthday today!

How To Be A Social Badass!

We have all been there, been in a situation that makes us uncomfortable, worried and anxious. How can we deal with it? well become a social badass! So what is a social badass? A social badass is an individual who dominates social situations without anxiety or trepidation of any kind. You know the one I mean right? we all know them!

Ok so anyone able to actually do this? Well fear not here are our tips of the badassery of being socially awesome. These are just fun tips, on how to become super confident!

So how to do it? Make Eye Contact, If someone asks you what you’re staring at, just smile and respond, “Sorry, I thought you were an old friend.” Focus on one eye and be sure to blink occasionally so you don’t look like a psycho. Also many people forget that by just saying 'Hi' it doesnt make us mental, it makes us friendly - people actually like being spoken to (well most!) always have a smile when you say it, or else you might well scare people! Warning: Some people will completely ignore you and not respond, but don’t be discouraged. There are some very shy and/or angry people in this world and you have just given them one more reason to have faith in mankind.

Challenge yourself. The point of these challenges is to become comfortable with the most extreme social behavior so normal interaction becomes a piece of cake. If you’re fine driving at 120 mph, 60 is going to be easy to the point of boredom. Do something that will inevitably making people stare. Social anxiety is rooted in the fear of being looked at as weird, so face that fear head-on by acting strange. Wear some crazy clothing like neon short-shorts or the fanciest frock you have which you wouldn't normally wear in the day. Put your hair into the weirdest monstrosity for an entire day - you get the idea.

Now this one terrifies me, Get Phone Numbers. According to pick-up-artists, the best method is to walk over and ask immediately when you see someone of interest to avoid over-thinking. Don’t give yourself any time to talk yourself out of it! Here’s an example script from author Tim Ferris:

“Excuse me, I know this is going to sound strange, but if I don’t ask you know, I’ll be kicking myself for the rest of the day. I’m running to meet a friend [i.e., I have friends and am not a stalker], but I think you’re really [extremely, drop dead] cute [gorgeous, beautiful, hot]. Could I have your phone number? You can give me a fake one if you’re not interested.”

Lastly try anchoring? what is anchoring you say? In short, anchoring is the attachment of a feeling/sensation/emotion to a specific physical movement. They are used to cause an immediate change in your attitude via a physical stimulus.

Think of the most badass person that you can think of. This can be from a TV/movie character or someone you know in real life. Choose someone who you are intimately familiar with so that you know specific details to emulate. Mine is Samantha Jones (Sex and the city, not all the time but she's oozes confidence!

Imagine how this person walks, talks, thinks and drinks. Try to imagine exactly how this person feels when they’re walking through some place. How fast do they turn their head when someone calls their name? What is their posture like? Do they make constant eye-contact? Master their every mannerism.

Now go forth and be a social badass!