This post if written by guest poster one of my best friends Claire. So here she talks about how as much as she loved her job and her life, she is now a happy housewife! Enjoy!
Despite my best intentions, my marriage isn't new or hip or
trendy. I cook and clean. He does the lawn and the taxes. I pick out
curtains and decorate. He watches the budget and takes the rubbish
out. It’s not that way because I am trying to reverse the women’s
movement, it’s just that our marriage works better that way. I am a
better cook. He’s a whiz at taxes. I really enjoy a nicely mopped
floor. He loves multiple trips to homebase. Call it genetics. Call it
culture. It’s who we are.
I used to feel guilty that my marriage seemed so normal. When I
got married I imagined my marriage would be different. I wanted to
bust up traditions. Reinvent what marriage meant. I was determined
not to let my marriage resemble the traditional roles. So, two months
after I said “I do”, when I found myself unemployed and picking
up my husband’s socks off the floor, I started to cry. When T came
home and found me sobbing on the sofa, I threw my apron at him. “You
make dinner!” He
made hot dogs from a can. Breaking down traditions didn’t taste as
good as I thought it would.
I
did eventually find a job, although I work at home. And no matter how
many suits or power heels I own, I still throw on an apron every
night and cook barefoot in the kitchen. It’s not that we haven’t
tried to break tradition. We tried to rotate cooking duties, until I
got tired of fish and chips. Once, I took over lawn duties. But when
the lawn became a pile of weeds, I was fired. My husband and I do
split the majority of the cleaning; however, I find it cathartic to
scrub the floors and he finds it convenient to let me. This isn’t
to say we divide life on strictly gendered lines. For example, I get
the oil changed and take care of the cars and he does the laundry.
But these changes stuck, not because of gender, but because of our
own individual strengths.
Ultimately,
in our struggle to break tradition, my husband and I learned that
tradition is what works the best for us. I’ve given up trying to
turn my marriage into a feminist ideal. I haven't given up on
feminist ideals; it’s just that I believe that at its heart
feminism is about choice. I'm happy being barefoot in the kitchen as
long as it's accompanied with a glass of wine.
Thanks so much to Claire for sharing!
Such an interesting read! It's great to read something feminism-related that's not so much about making a point to go against tradition, but about embracing choice :) x
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