We all have that ex boyfriend who was nothing but bad for us – for various reasons. So how do we avoid making the same mistakes twice? Well I decided to put a list of the men who should just avoid dating all together, because they are nothing but bad news.
The Married Guy
Nothing, I repeat nothing comes from
dating a man who is not avaliable. Especially when they are married.
I got hit on once by someone who was quite openly married – and
mistake number one? I let him flirt with me etc. It was fun to begin
with, he would send me flirty yet secretive texts, it felt bad and
naughty and exciting. I fizzled it out as he was to be honest just
anoying, but I do know people who have continued from a bit of flirty
banter into a full on affair. That's all it is an affair. He will
never leave his wife, you will always be the other woman (and most
likey the one who is blamed) and ultimatly the one who left out in
the cold.
Long Distance.
I am friends with one couple who have
made this work. Both in successful creative jobs and led very
independent lives. That is ONE couple in my 15 years of seeing people
date. Like the couple who are together in high school? But then go to
different universities? Never works – you both meet new people, new
experiences etc it's inevitable. The guy you meet in the bar but he
is from Australia? Germany? Yes texting him might be fun and you met
up once whilst he was here? Call it is what it is, a holiday romance
- same if you go away and meet someone. Unless you are prepared to
make the move with someone (and you WANT to make the move, and they
want you to – another mistake make sure they do) then have fun
with these romances and move on.
The Ex
This one might be an obvious one – but the line between and ex and not sleeping with a ex and getting back with an ex is a very blurred one. Its a struggle though, a massive one. (I slept with my ex for a good year after we split) Now this did not only stop me from finding someone else and moving on, damanging friendships as I kept lying to people about the fact I was sleeping with him, but it was emotionally not good. I kept thinking I could change him, make him want me. Sure the sex was good, the company? it's easy and comfortable, and it's such an easy fall back. He was my ex for a reason, and yours is your ex for a reason. So just stop it right now.
The guys you cannot have.
There are a few of these:
Co workers.
DO NOT DO IT. One of my best friends has to work with his ex
girlfriend every day and lets just say it is not fun.
The guy who you really really like but
he just isn't that keen: Sleeping with him will not make him love
you, it will make your feelings stronger and he will have slept with
a cute girl. If he doesn't want you for more than one night he
doesn't deserve you at all.
The barman at your local pub: You know
him, he knows what you drink. Yes he isn't your usual type, but he
has seen you at your worst, so what harm could it do? It will do a
lot of harm – if you like drinking there? Don't do it you will be
looking for a new place to drink.
The guy who REALLY likes you.
Trust me there is always that one guy
that really likes you – you know the one – they have always shown
a certain affinity to you, they give you attention when you need it –
but you're really not that keen. Leave them there, don't make it
into something it isn't. You wouldn't want someone dating you to
feel better about themslves so don't do it to them. Plus it's always
nice to have them around for that little bit of attention here and
there!
Have we missed any?!
This is so true! However I have managed to make a long distance relationship work :) ... but then again a 2 hour train from London to Leeds isn't quite the same as a flight to Australia!
ReplyDeleteAw thats brilliant if it can be done!
DeleteI've given up on dating altogether! Men are awful, end of lol. Also, thank you for following my blog hun, I should have come here sooner, your blog is loooovely :D xx
ReplyDeleteaww thanks love yours lots!!
DeleteThis has inspired me to write about all the kinds of ridiculous men i have dated haha - great post x
ReplyDeleteoh do! would love to read it!
Delete