We all have that ex boyfriend who was nothing but bad for us – for various reasons. So how do we avoid making the same mistakes twice? Well I decided to put a list of the men who should just avoid dating all together, because they are nothing but bad news.
The Married Guy
Nothing, I repeat nothing comes from dating a man who is not avaliable. Especially when they are married. I got hit on once by someone who was quite openly married – and mistake number one? I let him flirt with me etc. It was fun to begin with, he would send me flirty yet secretive texts, it felt bad and naughty and exciting. I fizzled it out as he was to be honest just anoying, but I do know people who have continued from a bit of flirty banter into a full on affair. That's all it is an affair. He will never leave his wife, you will always be the other woman (and most likey the one who is blamed) and ultimatly the one who left out in the cold.
I am friends with one couple who have made this work. Both in successful creative jobs and led very independent lives. That is ONE couple in my 15 years of seeing people date. Like the couple who are together in high school? But then go to different universities? Never works – you both meet new people, new experiences etc it's inevitable. The guy you meet in the bar but he is from Australia? Germany? Yes texting him might be fun and you met up once whilst he was here? Call it is what it is, a holiday romance - same if you go away and meet someone. Unless you are prepared to make the move with someone (and you WANT to make the move, and they want you to – another mistake make sure they do) then have fun with these romances and move on.
This one might be an obvious one – but the line between and ex and not sleeping with a ex and getting back with an ex is a very blurred one. Its a struggle though, a massive one. (I slept with my ex for a good year after we split) Now this did not only stop me from finding someone else and moving on, damanging friendships as I kept lying to people about the fact I was sleeping with him, but it was emotionally not good. I kept thinking I could change him, make him want me. Sure the sex was good, the company? it's easy and comfortable, and it's such an easy fall back. He was my ex for a reason, and yours is your ex for a reason. So just stop it right now.
The guys you cannot have.
There are a few of these:
Co workers. DO NOT DO IT. One of my best friends has to work with his ex girlfriend every day and lets just say it is not fun.
The guy who you really really like but he just isn't that keen: Sleeping with him will not make him love you, it will make your feelings stronger and he will have slept with a cute girl. If he doesn't want you for more than one night he doesn't deserve you at all.
The barman at your local pub: You know him, he knows what you drink. Yes he isn't your usual type, but he has seen you at your worst, so what harm could it do? It will do a lot of harm – if you like drinking there? Don't do it you will be looking for a new place to drink.
The guy who REALLY likes you.
Trust me there is always that one guy that really likes you – you know the one – they have always shown a certain affinity to you, they give you attention when you need it – but you're really not that keen. Leave them there, don't make it into something it isn't. You wouldn't want someone dating you to feel better about themslves so don't do it to them. Plus it's always nice to have them around for that little bit of attention here and there!
Have we missed any?!