Source Unkown
The other day someone I am working with
on a collaboration was telling me about their best friend. I couldnt
help but feel that (although I had only heard one side) the
friendship to me just didn't sound like it was working out.
Friendships are relationships that should be cherished, but they need
to be balanced. If you constantly worry that your friend is mad at
you, that your friend just seems to come to you when shit if hitting
the fan, most importantly that a particular friendship is causing you
more harm than good, well then it might be time to re-evaluatete it.
The older I have gotton, the more I
value my friendships. I no longer want the most friends, or the
fullest phonebook, I like to have people that I trust, value, and
respect and want to spend time with, and vice versa!
So how do you know when a friendship
isn't working? What are the signs?
Why your friends shouldn't and might
not always agree with you (however much we wish they would!) they and
you should always keep an open mind about what you are sharing with
them. We should always be able to put our point of view aisde and
look at things from other peoples perspective, and if we cant, or
people don’t? Well that is not a healthy relationship.
Source Unknown
Saying that not every conversation with
your friends needs to be deep and meaningful. But strong, lasting
friendships are built on more than just shopping, grabbing coffee, or
getting drunk. If your friend is not interested in trying to build on
these relationships, or are you, it is not saying that it is a bad
friendship, but it isn't a deep one. If you only do these things with
your 'close' friends and that friendship doesn't go deeper, then how
close are you really?
You ever had that friend that you know
isn't going to want to go to your favourite dinner spot? Know that
they will criticse your choice of attire? But you even think of even
critcising them? Well you know the backlash that will ensue? That's
not friendship, and personally? talk it out and explain how you feel or walk away.
It is the same if your friend is only interested in what she/he gets
out of your relationship. If you find that 9/10th's of the
conversation are taken up by her, and her problems then it's not a
mutual friendship, you're acting more as a counsellor.
If you find yourself in a friendship
that's causing you more stress than enjoyment, you may want to end
the relationship. Most friendships don't totally have to end you just
have to reevaulate where they are on the friendship spectrum.
So you feel in friendship limbo what
can you do to make it or break it?
You need to decide if the problems in
this friendship, like the ones discussed are more than just a blip in
your well being. If they are becoming detrimental to your life,
growth and health? Well it's time to take a step away. If you're not
sure about what to do or whether you are in the right or wrong then
it's best to ask someone else who is unbiased. Asking someone who is not
in the friendship, can give you the clarity you need, but make sure
you are being honest also. If you come to the conclusion that the
friendship is over, then move on.
Friendships may have their ups and
downs, but they are supposed to be positive aspects of our lives. If
you are coming away feeling more negative than positive from the
relationship then it may be time to let it go.
